Are you Cheating on your Bride (Church)?
Continuing to see the Bride of Christ through Scripture gives me a greater perspective on my marriage and my church. Mark 10 has challenged me to ask the question where am i cheating? Where am i cheating on Christ, on the Bride? You know the saying Cheaters never prosper so why do so many Christians Cheat? I think what too often happens in challenging moments, in a ministry struggle we entertain thoughts of having another soul mate, of leaving our local bride. It happens by pastor and parishioners alike. Rather than find strength through the Spirit, we convince ourselves to have an affair not realizing the harm that will come to Christ & his Bride.
Have you ever had the feeling someone else is really meant to be your soul mate? The “soul mate” notion will stir damage, because once someone pledges themselves to another in marriage before God, they essentially become soul mates. “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:7b-9, NLT).
Dr. Jill Hubbard in her book The Secrets Women Keep, Christians may be more likely to engage in emotional affairs, thinking that it doesn’t really count as sin if there is no skin. “The defining characteristic of an affair is not whether there is sex involved, but the concealment that surrounds it and the fact that someone is being betrayed.”
What I’m not certain of yet is whether we’ve cheated so often on Christ and the Bride so many now cheat in their marriages or if we have been living such weak marriages that we practice the same thing in the church. The idea Scripture give us is to stop entertaining the thought there could be another soul mate out there for you. If you’ve married your church stay faithful to it even in the challenging times. Oh, yah, I said it! Stay faithful with your tithe, stay faithful to your service, Stay faithful in your life group. stay faithful to reconciliation. God will honor your faithfulness and the Bride will continue to march down the aisle in her Greatness and Glory. The answer in both your marriage and church is discipleship. What a concept. Who’s talking about discipleship in marriage these days, but I believe it’s the answer!
Good post.
The other problem I have with the idea of a “soulmate” is that it’s not actually a Christian idea, but rather has roots in Eastern religion. Specifically it is the idea that as individuals go through various reincarnations sometimes finding each other and sometimes not, they have relational fulfillment based upon whether or not they find each other in each life. This is definitely not Christian thought which says every individual dies only once (Heb 9:27). There’s no such thing as a “soulmate” in the original sense of the meaning.
Great point Rick, Can i use that in my book I’m going to write about the Bride?
Absolutely. It’s not original to me. Just a historical and theological fact about the origin of the word. I simply never use the term “soulmate” to refer to Christian marriage. I realize that those who do don’t mean it in its original terms more than likely, but ultimately it’s a false concept.
Well, I see what you are saying about the term soul-mate. But if you ask most people who claim to have found their soul mate or are looking for their soul mate, they wouldn’t know a darn thing about the religious origins behind the term “soul mate.” They have just found or are looking for that someone special they know is the one that is “worth” their efforts and struggles and feels exactly the same about them. And in their case it is not a false concept. Just as when I say I have a purple couch and you expect to visit and see a royal purple lounger but instead find a violet formal. Just because it doesn’t recall the same idea as your’s, It doesn’t negate the fact that I have a purple couch. So in regards to being a bride of Christ I would say that the church must function in such a way. However as individuals Baptized in Christ we are commited to Him, not a specific church location or pastor. I think it is very important to realize that the atmosphere that prompts an individual/encourages an individual to be closer to God is just as individual. And worshipping at different or multiple church locations doesn’t “Divorce” one from Christ. The commitment we are teaching about or should be teaching about is to God, not the organization.
Maybe it is why so many people fear the idea of membership, fear of making a covenant with a local church. Maybe so many people go to church with prenuptial on the mind, and not commitment. I think a great church must challenge this mindset. That means discipleship not putting on a show, or creating a new program.
Thank you so much for your comments Wendy! I can hear your passion and heart in every word. Before Rick responds, I think Rick is referring to the idea of convincing ourselves we need to find a soul mate when what we have isn’t meeting our expectations and using that “idea” to justify separation. Secondly. There is the church universal and local. I’ll be speaking about commitment, membership to the local church and the unity we have in the universal church. It is to the bride we must be faithful and the local church is also a picture of that Bride, just as the universal church is an image of that bride. I am not suggesting God can’t call us away to another church on ministry. However a majority of the time people leave church it is rooted in sin, or unforgiveness, selfishness, etc. Largely people leave for unbiblical reasons in an unbiblical way. There are appropriate ways to leave, there are greater ways to be called on. Many, many who have left local churches have separated/divorced for all the wrong reasons.
I might go so far as to say that we’ve allowed a culture that once was so transient before this depression to determine where we raise our children and go to church, rather than allowing God to do this and allow a local body of believers to impacting their life in a greater way than the great influences of a great church and a great God can.
Imagine a church that is not transfixed on the pastor or programs, but a group of people transfixed on Col. 2:2. Imagine a great church doing as they did in Acts as they built relationships, shared things in common, broke bread together. Imagine a follower of Christ not getting ticked, surrendering and handing over their marching orders. Imagine a church filled with faithful seed throwers and imperfect people married together by the will of God and the blood of Christ unveiled for the city to see. A people who can forgive even when the another’s painful words have broken their heart. Imagine a church body who can love each other even when they aren’t the best of friends. It’s that church we are to be married to and it is that church, I believe people would choose over a move that would pay them more. It is that church that people would come to and have unity even when everyone wasn’t on the same page and didn’t have all the same information. That’s what Col. 2:2 says can happen. I believe that is the church God is calling us to be. To be that means shedding decades and centuries of generational assumption of what we’ve made the church and once again be graphed onto the Bride that Scripture says we are and are to be.
Amen. Very well said.
Often we flippantly say that the church is people not a building. Yet, Eugene Peterson in his book The Jesus Way counters this use of the term in such exclusive terms. Certainly, the church is primarily people, but that doesn’t discount the importance of local congregations and especially buildings. The building is where people can gather and form community, where stories are told, testimonies are given and memories are made. If none of this were important, I could simply go to a different church every week. Yes, I might be worshiping with other believers, but I’d never gain any sense of community.
Being a Christian is not just about having a relationship with God, but having a relationship with other believers as well. In our culture, we overemphasize the individual; and yet, in the Scriptures, the focus is much more on the community way over and above the individual. Many of those “you” statements in the New Testament are plural in the original language. We miss this aspect to our own detriment.
You are so right Rick… YOU plural… In Christ we are already members. What we are over emphasize is membership and how to join the church… What we should be expressing is the need to make a vow and covenant to Christ as the Bride.